Why Some Neurodivergent Clients Crave Touch — And How Somatic Therapy & Massage Support That Need
Many neurodivergent people have a complex relationship with touch.
Some avoid it because it feels too sharp, too sudden, or too unpredictable.
Others deeply crave touch because their nervous system longs for grounding, pressure, or sensory nourishment that they rarely receive in daily life.
This is not “attention-seeking.”
It is nervous-system regulation.
For autistic, ADHD, AuDHD, and other neurodivergent individuals, touch can play a vital role in organising sensory input, calming overwhelm, and helping the body feel anchored again. Somatic therapy and massage offer a predictable, consent-based way to meet this need safely and without shame.
Why Touch Matters for Neurodivergent Nervous Systems
Neurodivergent sensory systems often process touch differently. It can be overwhelming or deeply regulating.
1. Deep pressure creates grounding
Steady, firm touch works like a full-body weighted blanket and signals safety.
2. Predictable touch reduces sensory chaos
Slow, rhythmic massage helps organise sensations and reduce overstimulation.
3. Touch reconnects after shutdown or dissociation
Supportive touch gently guides awareness back into the body.
4. It releases tension from chronic masking
Years of bracing and performing create tight jaws, shoulders, and stomachs. Massage helps unwind these patterns.
5. It meets a human need that many were denied
In therapy, touch becomes a regulated, consensual, shame-free experience.
6. Touch supports emotional regulation
It helps calm anxiety, reduce spirals, and anchor the body during overwhelm.
How Somatic Therapy & Massage Support Neurodivergent Clients
Somatic therapy and massage do not aim to change someone’s neurotype.
They support the lived experience within neurodivergence.
Clients often report:
less sensory overwhelm
improved auditory processing
fewer shutdowns or quicker recovery
reduced anxiety
softened jaw and stomach tension
better interoception (body awareness)
more grounding and presence
These changes help the nervous system move toward safety and balance.
My Neurodiversity-Friendly Approach
In my practice, you are welcome to show up exactly as you are.
Here’s what a neurodiversity-affirming session looks like:
Eye contact is optional
If you prefer to look at the floor while talking, or you focus on a plant in the room, or you close your eyes during the intake, that’s completely okay. I never interpret lack of eye contact as disinterest or avoidance. You get to interact in the way that feels natural for your system.
Stimming and movement are welcome
If you tap your fingers on the massage table, fidget with the blanket, rock your hips slightly, or shake out your hands while explaining something, I won’t interrupt you or ask you to stop. I understand that these movements help your body regulate, and I make space for them.
Your nervous system sets the pace
If you suddenly say, “Wait… something feels too much,” or I notice your breath speeding up, I slow down my touch immediately. We might pause the massage, sit up for a moment, take a breath together, or switch to grounding techniques. There is never a rush to continue.
Touch is collaborative and adjustable
If you tell me, “That pressure is too light; it tickles,” I go deeper and slower.
If you say, “This is too deep; I’m tensing up,” I soften.
If an area feels uncomfortable that day (like your stomach, your chest, or your feet) we skip it. Your body leads; I adapt in real time.
Clear communication is valued
If you ask, “Can you remind me again what happens next?” or “Can you explain that more slowly?” I repeat or rephrase happily. If you want a predictable structure, like knowing which part of the body I will touch next, I provide that. You don’t have to pretend you understand if you don’t.
Non-verbal communication is respected
If you go quiet, stop speaking mid-sentence, or can’t form words during overwhelm, I don’t push for verbal explanations. I might ask you to nod, raise a hand, or squeeze the table to show yes/no or we simply stay in silence until your system feels safe again.
Breaks are natural
If halfway through the session you need to sit up, drink water, stretch your legs, or walk around for a moment, we pause. Sometimes just stepping out of the lying position helps your body reset. Nothing “interrupts” the session, everything that supports regulation belongs in the session.
Emotional responses are welcomed
If tears start without you knowing why, I don’t rush to analyse them.
If your body freezes and goes still, I stay present and grounded until your system softens again.
If you say, “I feel overwhelmed but I don’t know how to explain it,” that’s enough. Your emotions are treated as normal bodily responses, not problems to fix.
A Personal Note From Me
Working with neurodivergent clients feels personal, because I am neurodivergent too. I know from the inside what it means to live in a body that reacts quickly, feels deeply, and sometimes becomes overwhelmed in ways that are hard to explain. I also know the quiet longing for touch that feels safe, steady, and attuned - and the fear of being “too much” for wanting it.
This shared lived experience shapes the way I hold space. When I’m with someone whose nervous system is buzzing, shutting down, or craving pressure, I don’t see something strange or difficult… I see something familiar. And in a way, we are both learning and unlearning together. Your body teaches me as much as I support it. There is a real sense of growing alongside each person who steps into my practice.
Some of the most meaningful moments are the small ones: a breath that finally drops, a jaw that softens, a sense of “I don’t have to hide here.” These moments remind me how powerful it is when two neurodivergent nervous systems meet with honesty, gentleness, and zero expectations.
I don’t do this work to fix anyone, not you, not myself. I do it because I believe in creating a space where our bodies can simply exist without apology. A space where touch feels safe, connection feels natural, and where the nervous system can slowly learn a new kind of ease.
If any of this feels familiar to you, please know: there is nothing wrong with your way of being. Your needs are real. Your sensitivity is intelligence. And you don’t have to navigate it alone.
I’m here with you, human to human, nervous system to nervous system, growing together.
If any of this resonates with your own experience, or if you’re curious how somatic therapy and massage could support your nervous system, you’re welcome to reach out to me with questions, thoughts, or anything you’d like to share.
